Happy new year!

Both 2020 and 2021 have been so dreary that I have forgotted how to be cheerful. They seemed to merge into one long year for me. With my father ill, it was difficult to write without neglecting him and so Mihai took over some of the blog posting. My blog became an analysis of the COVID pandemic. He declares it's over. And to celebrate the occasion he finally agreed to shave. He had not shaved since the beginning of the pandemic. So, my mother, the children and I are relieved that he looks human again vs. the former preambulating hay stack.

In these two years of haos I have taken decisions I did not believe I would ever have to take.

1. In July 2020, I gave birth at home because the hospitals were closed. They had closed just as I went into labor because they came across one positive COVID-19 patient, who happened to be asymptomatic. They had a "zero-case" policy back then. Most of the doctors and staff were in quarantine since they had been in the hospital in that one situation, which happend between shifts. However, a basement in one of the hospitals was opened for emergencies, and staffed by some over-worked residents. Furthermore, the rule was that in case of successful deliveries all babies would be separated from the mother, and taken care by the understaffed hospital for about a week just in case the mother turned out to be COVID-19 positive. This was during a heat wave and so all the doctors and staff dressed in bunny suits and looked like they needed assistance themselves.

The very strick regulations were harmful and made so little sense and the fear of having somebody do the wrong thing without meaning to be wrong scared me so much that I stayed home. I chose to give birth at home even though I knew from the pre-natal scan that my son had a very long ombilical cord that was wrapped around his neck. I am lucky that my mother is a retired gynecologist, and was able to help me through the birth process, which turned out well -- my baby was only slightly blue when he came out. When I took the decision to stay home, I knew that if complications arose she could not have saved the baby in the home-setting. Of course, any pain killers, C-section or medication were out of the question. After it was all over, the baby was sleeping on the bed, and I went to drink some water. When I returned, I found the cat curled around him. He had moved to be surrounded by Bendemolina. They were both sleeping peacefully. And, no, I did not take pictures. Neither did my mother during or after the birth process. I was relived and grateful that we were alive. I could not write about it until now either. Little Ira is 1 year and 1/2.

2. In September 2020 I admitted failure to raising four children and taking care of my father. So, I sent David to Germany to be with Mihai, and when that failed to work well to California to be with his mother. In November 2020 he was brave enough to take a one-way flight alone in the middle of the pandemic from Germany to Los Angeles. At almost 15, David is now in a top highschool in Arcadia. He took Chinese in his first semester and Advanced Mathematics and Biology in addition to the standard courses. He has also joined the boy scouts and bikes across the mountains there. I am proud of him.

3. In early March 2021 my father's blood stopped flowing properly and started overclotting, mostly in the lower part of his good leg. This was after almost four years of hemiplegia due to a series of hemoralgic strokes. Hospitals would not admit him because they were overwhelmed by the pandemic. Soon part of his leg turned dark. I learned a lot about the balance between various medications and mechanical procedures, we bathed his foot frequently, we tried to relive the pressure through small incisions, etc. Nothing really worked well enough to solve the problem. In time, the body started eliminating areas of his leg. He lost the ability to move the foot, and it shrank and parts of it fell off leaving the tendon exposed. We fought death on a daily basis and won for three months in a row. It seemed the overclotting was self-limiting. Then in June 2021 everything stopped working. My father died on June 8. He would have been 71 on August 8.

4. Towards the end of May 2021, I did not think things could get any worse. But they did. My mom started to have heart issues: high pulse, unequal beats, fibrilation. Then Edward and James went outside to play with some children from the neighborhood without me. I could not go with them, and asked them not go, but the children insisted, and said they'd be gone just 20 minutes. They overstaid, and just when they wanted to come back home, one of the kids pushed Edward off a train container in front of his mother (we live near the train station, which has some old containers that were once used by workers). Edward stopped the fall with his arm and broke all four bones: the clavicle, the humerus, the ulna and radius. The humerus bone could be seen almost pushing the skin, but not quite.

My mom went to the hospital with Edward. The hospial was a mess because of the pandemic. There was no ambulatory treatment any more. Everyone had to come in, take a COVID test, and stay in the hospital to get treated. There was no longer a septic and a-septic section of the hospital, which increased the number of infections. They set his arm, and put an old-fashioned cast on, but were too overwhelmed to do anything else and the arm started healing. After almost two days of waiting in a room with infected patients, we decided against surgery, which was recommended by the doctors there. My mother and I took the responsibility of going against their advice. My father suggested we wait until he dies, and then hire his therapist for Edward. He said that would help Edward and therapist, who would relearn how efficient therapy is when the person is young. Edward has since recovered and forgets which is his right hand and which is his left hand again. The cast was on for two weeks, and came off the day my father died, and therapy was necessary for one month after that.

5. In September 2021 I have accepted a Maria de Maestro postdoctoral fellowship in Barcelona to restart my career in science. This Xmas I bought a house about an hour away (not the one mentioned in a previous post; the owner had a debt that was too large, and could not sell it) and moved in. It's a new beginning and like all beginnings it's hard. I have pulled out all the little roots I had formed in Romania, and all the people and animals who have helped me are left behind. I have felt alone then and I feel alone now. But life moves on and I am grateful that my children are healthy, and that my mother is still with me and able to help. Andy has been here for the past three weeks, and helped us move. He will leave on Jan 4 because he starts teaching then.

6. How can I help? I would be grateful if some of you downloaded Edward's book. It's available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Common-Birds-Uncommon-Talent-Narcissus/dp/B09KN2QR6Y/ and it's free on the 1st and 2nd of January. It is our pandemic project, and I have mismanaging the advertising. If you can share it with friends, it could help even more.