James is four. He likes telling us stories. They are a cheerfully lethal -- everyone dies in them. A further spoiler: Nobody gets married here.
The emperor and his goat
There was once an emperor who was traveling. He was riding a goat. It was his goat. He and the goat reached a bridge. From under the bridge came a bear and ate them.
Grandma: Is the story over?
James: No, the bear ate the emperor and his goat. But then another emperor came to take the place of the first one. He had a herd of goats with horns. They killed the bear. Then the new emperor ate some of the left-over goat because it was Christmas.
Edward: Is it over?
James: No, this next emperor lived until something else killed him. And so on.
The dragon
Once upon a time there was an emperor. He walked to a bridge. Under the bridge there was a dragon.
Dragon: I want chips for my tea!
The emperor did not have any chips with him, but called another man who came and gave the dragon chips. Then the dragon turned into the father of the emperor. Once he had the chips, he decided he loved the emperor. But later he turned back into a dragon and ate him anyhow. He ate him whole -- although, the feet stuck out of the dragon's mouth for some time.
For those of you who read Harap Alb by Ion Creanga -- the bridge and the father who wears a bear skin are there. So, it likely served as an inspiration for James. However, Ion Creaga gave his stories a happy ending where evil is defeated, and the hero and heroine get married. Things are murkier for James. Then there is Room on the broom -- a lovely book we've been reading by Julia Donaldson.
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