Tickets to the other world

 I have two tickets which are getting me there:

1. The major stroke that is deepening towards the bulb, which I've had in January 2018. I have not been able to swallow things properly for a year and it's getting worse.

2. The foot infection which can't be stopped because of 1. It occurred, in part, due to not enough movement and bad circulation.

As a doctor I was best at giving advice. I did not pay attention to it myself, but I gave good advice, and people who listened to me did well and got well. So, I'll do this to the end.

Don't drink alcohol. My wife and daughter mostly drank warm water. I thought it was silly, but water is a good drink. It can, generally, be gotten from the tap. Natural fruit juices should be drank only occasionally because they have too much fast sugar for regularity. Don't smoke. Don't do drugs -- even coffee is not a good idea if you can avoid it. Use devices, don't let them use you. Don't play computer games. Don't watch movies often. Don't waste time on the internet -- this includes social media and whatever else will come after it. Don't overeat. When in season, overeat fruits and vegetables that grow in your area. They don't count as overeating. When you do the "don'ts" make sure they don't become a regular occurrence. The world will keep trying to get you to do the "don'ts" to an extent that is abusing to youself and to others because that is "cool". They are a way to pain, a way to loss and a way to premature tickets. They are a way for other people to take what you have in exchange of a fake and oversold form of happiness.

This is a message for my grandchildren. I had to preach. It's what grandparents, and what doctors do. I am both. I want you to remember that I love you. I love those of you I have met, those of you whom I have helped raise, and I love those of you I haven't met. I'll continue to love you from beyond.

I am not sorry for those of you who have not met me in this state. I drool a lot. Most people no longer understand me. I am mostly gone. I can still return when somebody enters the room, but it won't be for long. When one loses their ability to move, it's terminal. For those of you whom I have met, and have helped me, I hope it had taught you to not do what I did, and to care and be kind to those in need.

I want you to strive to love yourselves -- always -- and then you'll have the strength to love those around you.  Love gives boundless strength and helps you deal with whatever comes. And to forgive yourselves, forgive those around you, and forgive me and forgive your father for not being there for you and for not doing more. I've forgiven my son for not beeing there for me in my final years and I hope you will forgive him too even though you have more to forgive. I have one message for him from near the grave: "shave!", a long beard is dirty and might even get you arrested some day. Even though Mihai is not here, I feel I can almost see him and I still love him with my whole heart. I can still see an incubator with a tiny baby that almost burnt as I kept virgil, and I am so thankful that he made it to almost 42 and that I had the chance to watch him grow into a man.

I'd also like my grandchildren to know each other and built a strong network of strong, kind people. This might be harder than you think, but I do believe you'll find you have things in common, and that you will do amazing things together as you grow.

I am the past. My motto has been "while there is life, there is hope". However, in these three years and a half there was no hope. My health only got from bad to worse. It did not matter what I did or what my family did. I still hear my wife calling me "dearest darling" as she goes by. I am sorry for not doing more for her, for my children, and for you. I am finally able to exit this nightmare that seemed to never end. My body is distorted and in pain. It was magnificient once. I won't miss what it has become. You are the future. Once you are a bit older, try to get to know each other and to help each other when you can. There is power in numbers and in kindness. Those who are related are alike and can help each other more efficiently than strangers.